I Quit, But I'm Not Defeated!

I know that title sounds strange. I'm not quitting my weight loss... oh no no no.. definitely not. I only quit the juice fast. After day 2 I felt simply awful! No energy, starving, headaches, & "bathroom problems". I decided to listen to what my body was telling me. It didn't want me to go on with the juicing. Its simply not worth it. My program that I made for myself is working and I'm going to stick with it. Why fix something if its not broken, right? I guess I just got a little over zellous & wanted faster results. But I am losing weight at a healthy pace... I'm just going to have to learn some patience.

I weighed in this morning at 196 pounds. So I'm back to what I was before my small vaca to Erie for a week. Feels good to be back on track. I fell right back into my routine & it feels so good. I think for me a routine is key. It keeps me level headed & sane. Is it a little monotonous some times? Heck yes, but it works.

Yesterday I took a friend of mine to the gym with me. We were workout partners last fall-winter. It was nice to have someone to talk to & have someone just be there with me. We did 15 minutes on the Elliptical Trainer and then we went our separate ways for weight lifting for a bit. She did legs while I did arms. (I had just done legs over the weekend). And then she did a few arm moves with me that the Silver Fox showed me. They were really great for our triceps. And then we went back to the ellipticals for a 5-minute push, really jacked the levels up on the machines and then a 10-minute cool down. So all-in-all we got a great workout in.

I'm hoping that by the end of the week I can be at 194 lbs, that would mean that I've lost 55 pounds so far. Which I am excited either way, I haven't been this fit in years.... ok maybe never. I was never athletic when I was a kid/teenager. I always let my asthma tell me what I couldn't do. But now I feel like I can tell my body what it can do. Its all very mind over matter for me. Some days my head is definitely not in the gym & I don't want to work out at all. But then I think back to that picture of me at 249 pounds and I don't want to be that person any more. That girl was afraid to leave the house, afraid to let anyone see her weaknesses, flaws, how insecure & unhappy she was. I was so afraid that someone would stop me & make fun of me. Or have a little kid say, "Mommy, Look at the fat girl!". And I'm still afraid of some of that but I don't let it control me any more. I'm not that girl any more, I wont let my feelings of failure control who I am. I feel more alive now that I've felt ever! I know I'm not athletic, yet, but I feel like I can get to that point. There are so many things I want to do that I need a healthy body to do it. I want to go rock wall climbing, hiking, camping, etc..
- - Most of all I just want to be fit & healthy for my son. See him grow up & not worry if I'm going to die young from heart disease.

Now its time to go before I get all sappy & sentamental.
As always, Thanks for reading.